Ups & Downs
by Kaslyna
Summary: An AU Jack/Claire story. :D Claire does not die. Just read and review please. I ran this idea with The Profane Angel and this story is for her. :D Rated 'T'; some chapters may or may not be 'M', not quite sure yet.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: An AU, what-if story. What if Jack had taken the cab in the first place and had not called Claire to pick him up?**

**Disclaimer: Law & Order belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC. I own nothing but the plot bunny. :D**

The apartment is messy when Jack stumbles in, drunk, at midnight. There's a pile of dishes in the sink and the TV is turned on low. He checks the fridge and finds a pizza inside. He eats quietly, adds his dishes to the pile (because really, one more plate won't be _so_ bad), turns off the TV, and staggers into the bathroom. He uses the toilet, showers, and then pulls his boxers and undershirt back on. The bedroom is dark, but with the dim light from the hallway he sees Claire sound asleep on top of the mussed blankets, wearing his boxers with a white camisole. Her short hair is splayed out and she snores softly. He smiles and closes the door. When he is at the bed he gently slides her under the sheets, careful not to wake her. He kisses her forehead and climbs in beside her. Unconsciously, she drapes her leg over his and coils her arm about his waist. He runs a hand lovingly through her short, frizzy, raven colored hair.

Jack soon joins her in a peaceful, uneventful slumber.

* * *

Claire awakes at around seven feeling nauseous. She climbs carefully out of the bed, trying not to wake Jack, who is sure to have a hell of a hangover. A brief smile plays on her features. She'll chastise him later, when he is coherent and not in pain.

She finds herself a few moments later crouching over the toilet vomiting. When she is sure it is over, she flushes and brushes her teeth twice quickly. Knowing that Jack will have woken up from the sounds of her vomiting, she grabs a couple of aspirin and a glass of water. She brings them to him, setting them on the side table. Then she goes into the kitchen and makes coffee. Claire brings it in soon and once he feels a little better they talk.

"I'm still not feeling good," she sighs, closing her eyes to fight the queasiness.

"Take the day off," he suggests.

"I did yesterday, Jack," she murmurs.

"Claire," her eyes open as his cool palm rests on her cheek, "Take the day. You're sick."

She nodded, too weak to protest, and mumbled, "I'll see my doctor today. Get some antibiotics or whatever."

"Good idea," he says, and they lapse into silence.

"Jack?"

"Hmm?"

"What did we do wrong?"

"What do you mean?" he asks, panicking.

"No, no," she reassures him, "I'm not leaving you. It's just... we've been fighting so damn much."

"Oh."

"I'm sick of it, Jack," she smiled sadly and suddenly looked older as she continued, "I don't want to fight with you anymore."

"I don't want to fight with you, either," he admits glumly.

"We're both messed up," she chuckles, snorting a little.

"We're perfect for each other," he finishes, grinning boyishly at her. She smiles wearily and kisses him slowly. Then she pulls away and sighs.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you," he repeated, smiling radiantly.

Their lovemaking was slow but filled with hope. When it was over, they lay exhausted in the bed, as if a great battle had been fought and won. In a way it had been a great battle, those past seven or eight months or so that they had argued, the tension mounting and mounting. It would still linger there, but for now at least they could control it.

"I need to go to work," he whispered huskily into her ear, "Why don't I pick something up for dinner later? Something light, maybe soup from that deli..."

"Mmmm..." she nuzzled his chest, lazy, "Sounds perfect."

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. He showers quickly while Claire rests.

"Go," she orders, "I'll be fine. If I need anything I'll call you."

He nods, leans over and kisses her goodbye. When he leaves she begins to clean the apartment. Once that is out of the way, Claire showers and dresses in one of his crisp white button-downs and a pair of her jeans. Then she picks up the phone and dials her doctor. Doctor Warner's secretary is able to make an appointment for Claire at three-thirty that afternoon, leaving Claire with two hours to kill. Once she has thanked the woman and hung up she turns the TV on to some boring game show and watches. At 3:00 she cleans up and goes outside to hail a cab. She waits at the office for forty minutes and then the doctor has arrived, finally.

"Okay, what are your symptoms?" asks Doctor Lani Warner, a petite redhead.

"I'm dizzy, nauseous, have nightmares, and I can't stomach anything but Oreos and coffee."

The doctor nods, then says, "I'm going to have a nurse come to draw blood so we can run tests."

She smiles at Claire as she gets the young nurse. The nurse wraps the rubber tourniquet around Claire's arm and she squeezes her eyes shut, going to her happy place. When it is over the nurse says that their labs will do a few general tests. Perhaps a half hour later Doctor Warner returns, smiling.

"Well?" Claire asks, a little impatient.

"Well, it's not the flu," the doctor says.

"What is it...?"

The doctor slaps a card into Claire's hand. Irritated, she looks down and reads:

_Doctor Jessica Moore, OB/GYN_

Her head snaps up and she demands to be told what the fuck is going on.

"Claire, the labs say you're pregnant. Doctor Moore will just be able to confirm it. She's a good doctor."

Doctor Warner writes a formal referral for Doctor Moore then sends Claire out. She calls Doctor Moore from the lobby of the medical building and sets up an appointment for tomorrow at one o'clock. Then she calls Jack and tells him to meet her at the Thai place three blocks from One Hogan Place; she has seen her doctor and needs to talk to him urgently.

"What's wrong?" he asks, sliding into the booth across from her.

"What, no 'how was your day'?" she asks, making him grin.

He relaxes slightly; it could obviously be much, much worse if Claire was not making jokes.

They place their drink order (Cokes, since it _was _still a workday for Jack), and then Claire reaches for his hand. Needs his reassurance.

"Jack," she begins, nervous, "Jack, uh. I don't, God, I don't even know how to say this. But, um, Doctor Warner gave me a referral."

"For what...?" he asks, afraid. Possibilities jumble in his brain.

"Jack, Doctor Warner thinks I'm pregnant," Claire tells him, jittery, "She, uh, did some quick blood tests. She wants me to see this Doctor Moore-" Claire takes out the business card and continues, "And I made an appointment tomorrow at one. She'll confirm."

His mind is blank. He feels relief, dread, and elation. Sensing this, Claire waits calmly for him to sort through his conflicting emotions. Giving him time to think, not act. Again he is grateful.

Eventually he smiles and exclaims, laughing a little, "I'm going to be a dad."

"You are a dad," she points out, then asks, a little terrified, "Um. Yeah."

He laughs at her convoluted non-question and then replies, "I royally fucked up with Rebecca. But I didn't really love her mother. I love you, Claire. Okay? I'm getting a second chance to be a daddy. Rebecca is going to be thirteen in September. She has her mother and stepfather. We talk now and again. I won't do that, I promise. I'll be there for our baby."

He elaborates upon seeing her skepticism clear in her face, "Stacey has moved on. Why the hell can't I?"

She nods slowly then whispers, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And I'd like to be there tomorrow."

"Sure."

They kiss quickly but intimately.

He smiles. She smiles.

"I love you."

"I love you more."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well dudes, I'm almost done with school, then we go to Rhode Island for three days and my gramma has surgery for cancer. :/ I be on as much as I can. XD**

**Disclaimer: Law & Order belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC. I own nothing and I probably never ever will.**

The loose hospital gown crinkles as Claire shifts on the examination table. Jack sits across from her in a chair and she smiles, exhausted because he'd kept her up half the damn night. Doctor Moore returns soon, all smiles.

"Congratulations, Claire. You're pregnant."

Tears streamed down her face and she sniffled and wiped them away. She hugged the Doctor and kissed Jack. She is handed a prescription for prenatal vitamins.

"Take care of yourself, feel free to call if you need anything, and I'd like to see you in about three weeks or so."

Claire nods and when they leave she schedules another appointment twenty-two days later, on August 8, at the same time. Jack takes her home, where she turns on the radio.

Sarah McLachlan's Possession is playing softly and she smiles sweetly at him. He draws her into his strong arms and she buries her head in his chest. They sway, dancing to the music in the small apartment. She kisses him and it becomes more.

When they are done afterwards she looks at the ceiling, then props herself up onto one elbow and stares at his face.

"I love you," she declares, like it's the first time, "I love you."

"So do I," he smiles, kisses her softly, gently, "I love you."

She falls asleep sprawled haphazardly across his chest. Lazily he traces her name near the dimples lying just above her bottom. He sighs and soon he is asleep as well.

* * *

She is sick the next morning, but now that they know it's just morning sickness she decides to go to work. They've decided to tell Adam when they've sorted everything out. She takes her prenatal vitamins and eats, then they get on the subway to One Hogan Place.

The Cornell case has just been handed to them. The detectives have a suspect in custody; Claire goes to the 2-7 to supervise the interrogation. Georgia Thompson does _not_ look like a murderer, especially a murderer of a fit woman like Heather Cornell, but Claire's not so naïve as to believe her innocent. She'll give her the benefit of the doubt, but that's it.

Thirty minutes later and Georgia seems a hell of a lot _less_ innocent. She taps the glass, to signal the detectives to arrest her formally. They do and soon Claire's got an arraignment at ten the next morning.

She sighs and heads outside. It's begun to rain, a light, steady drizzle. She walks briskly to One Hogan Place and once there she heads to Jack's office.

Two hours later, that's where Jack finds Claire, passed out on his couch. He smiles softly. There's a flash of lightning and then a loud clap of thunder. She wakes up. Boom! Goes the next thunder clap and then the lights flicker out and Claire groans sleepily.

"It's a storm, baby, just gonna have to wait it out," his smile is genuinely sympathetic, and she nods, sighing.

"I'm starving," she pouts.

"I'll go raid the break room fridge," he promises, kissing her forehead. She pulls him down briefly for more, smiling adoringly as she rubs noses with him. Then he grins boyishly and leaves. She sighs and waits.

A few minutes later he returns with a half-full box of donuts, a bag of potato chips (sour cream and onion), and some sunflower seeds. He apologizes but she shakes her head and assures him it's okay, not like she can hold much down anyways. Then he grins and surprises her with some Oreos he'd found. Her face lights up and she kisses him before greedily eating them. Jack chuckles as he watches her devour the Oreos, three donuts, half the bag of potato chips, and the entire bag of sunflower seeds. What scraps are left she gives to him, and he finishes off their "meal". He takes a blanket from his desk and spreads it over her, then picks her and the blanket up, settling beneath her so she's on top of him. She yawns and falls asleep quickly, smiling happily. He strokes her cheek, runs his hand through her hair lovingly. Then he joins her in sleep.

* * *

The rain has stopped when they wake up at eight. He takes them home and they eat, shower, and change quickly. Claire barely makes her arraignment in time and is too tired to argue for remand. Instead she settles for one million dollar bail. It's good enough she tells herself.

There's not too much else during the day and Claire's thankful. She busies herself with paperwork and they eat a small lunch at the office. They arrive home at seven and eat dinner, which is leftover pizza, and then they settle onto the couch to watch TV. Claire's asleep quickly and Jack carries her to bed and tucks her in, kissing her forehead. He watches TV for another hour or so before joining Claire.

When Claire wakes she's not nauseous; the blessing passes quickly, however, and soon she is violently vomiting into the toilet. She groans and Jack makes her hold down a glass of orange juice and some fried eggs on toast before letting her do anything else. When she manages somehow to accomplish that she takes her prenatal pills and thanks him.

They arrive at the office slightly later than usual and Adam glares, but they naturally ignore him. Claire has three arraignments and when she's done with them she and Jack debate over when and how to tell Adam.

"He'll be... I don't know," Claire sighs, shrugging, "Fine with it but not fine, you know?"

"Yeah," he nods agreeably.

She smiles wearily. She has been more tired than usual. She sighs and continues working on the mountains of paperwork on Jack's desk.

They stop at a little cafe on their way home and chat and it's almost like the beginning, it's so normal, teasing and banter and love. She smiles and he smiles and it's just Jack, Claire, and their unborn child and it's so right, so damn perfect, so, so _them_.

He cannot sleep that night but he watches her as she snuggles up to him in her dreams, mumbling his name, head on his chest. He smiles. Jack loves Claire.

He sighs and eventually Jack drifts off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Claire gingerly presses two fingers into her belly. The skin is tighter but she's not showing yet; not that she's really too surprised. She is standing in front of the full-length mirror grinning like an idiot. She loves this child already.

Claire never knew you could love someone you'd yet to meet.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long. :/ Real life is a bitch. Time to tell Adam! Hope I did this okay... kinda nervous. (: I made up their birthdays. Some flashbacks as well. :D Also Claire's middle name, as I could not find an official one. I know it's short, sorry. :(**

**Disclaimer: Law & Order belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC. I own nothing; do you?**

They'd both agreed to tell Adam on Tuesday. Now they sat waiting in his office. He comes in, apologizes for his lateness, and asks what's up. They share a brief glance and then Claire says, in that calm, collected tone she reserves for suspects, "Jack and I have some news and we would prefer if you tried to react without bias."

"Look, I already know you're sleeping together-"

"We're pregnant," Claire blurts, and Adam blinks, absorbing the new information.

"Wow."

"Yeah, I know," Claire says. Jack is silent. He figures talking will be bad.

"When are you due?" he asks and Claire chuckles.

"We don't know for sure, but the doctor guesses around February 25," she shrugs, "So I'm about eight weeks along. If it's okay with you I'd prefer to work until I'm about thirty-five weeks along."

"I'll consider it," he nods vigorously, "And you, Jack? How will this affect you? Defense attorneys love this kind of thing, you know."

"I know," he sighs, "And we've talked it over briefly. But we've decided for now it's best for Claire to stay on and if and when the time comes, she'll transfer out or find a new job. She doesn't want to be working too much when the baby comes along, anyways."

"Alright," he agrees, pursing his lips in concentration, "Alright. I'll see what I can do to keep you two together, but no guarantees, okay? I have another appointment after you, so if you don't mind..."

"We'll show ourselves out," Jack supplied, standing. Claire stood, too, and together they left.

"Well, that went better than expected," Claire remarks as they're walking back to Jack's office.

"Yes, it did," he responds, holding the door open for her, "Now, are you hungry? We could go grab some lunch, wherever you want, of course."

"Sounds good. How does Italian sound to you?"

"Just perfect. Let's go."

* * *

Their lunch is brief, relaxed, and all together pleasant. They talk and laugh and share food and it's nice to be them again.

The monsters that had consumed them since Claire's last birthday had finally dissipated. He'd shown up drunk and forgetful, not knowing that it was her thirtieth birthday. She'd nursed him back to health but had been pissed at him for a week afterwards; not for forgetting her birthday, she could live with that, but for being drunk and saying words he certainly didn't mean. And it hadn't really gotten too much better after that; Christmas was a disaster, with him alienating her mother, who already didn't like him very much, and her stepfather, who firmly believed in giving people chances. She'd stayed away for a while; then he'd shown up drunk on New Years'. She was wasted then, too, so they'd fucked and said things they didn't mean afterwards. She had kicked him out then. Valentine's Day he'd forgotten; he'd stormed out of her apartment, angry. Easter he had gone to church with her drunk (it was supposed to be payback for him getting wasted on Saint Patrick's Day and groping her in public) and had been kicked out. Fourth of July they'd been pissed off. One day in the spring she'd moved almost completely in with him, and their nights were filled with the inconsolable loneliness of being so close, yet so far away still.

He'd taken her away for four days (May 31-June 4), to a little bed and breakfast up in Rhode Island. They'd spent the vast majority of those four days in bed. When they weren't making love (because that's what it was, after so long, it was finally _that_) they'd gone for walks along the sea, meals, and one movie that they hadn't found too great. They were both sad to leave, but hopeful nonetheless that they could rekindle what they had had. She remembered still the exact day they'd first gone on a date; her birthday, November 25, 1994; their first kiss, that Christmas; the very first time they'd made love, Valentine's Day 1995, on the couch in his office, his desk, and finally his bed at his apartment. She remembered the first time they'd said "I love you"; it was his birthday, September 5, 1995, after seven months of a casual thing, sex and dates, really. The day their relationship had plummeted: November 25, 1995. The day they'd reconciled: July 16, 1996. They day she'd found out she was pregnant (officially, not unofficially): July 17, 1996. Present day: July 23, 1996.

She was glad they were back.

* * *

Three days later and they'd set a trial date for Georgia Thompson. She's used to being sick and tired and moody and hungry now. She's constantly snapped at people. She's distant. When they get home at night she eats and then sleeps. He's a little frustrated but knows that this is just the hormones; in another four weeks or so it'll pass. Even still he's more than a little glad that they're back to normal, or at the very least as normal as possible for them. He wants to ask her to marry him, but knows now is not the time. They've recently reconciled and need some time to heal the wounds before. Besides, he'd prefer to wait until their child is born. He couldn't believe it. It was too good to be true, that he had the sweetest girlfriend (granted, she was twenty years younger than him, exactly) and a child on the way. Sure, he'd screwed up with Stacey and Rebecca, but not with Claire. _Never_ with Claire. His Claire, his sweet Claire; she was everything he'd ever wanted and never gotten. God was giving him a second chance in the form of this beautiful woman. Claire Alexandra Kincaid.

He was watching her sleep as he thought quietly, softly, to himself. She was so beautiful when she slept; sweet and innocent and vulnerable, not in the least the tough, competent, bold woman she truly was. He was amazed and flattered to be privy this homelier side of her. In the inside Claire was just a sweet, innocent, vulnerable, beautiful woman who made him think in ways he used to think were unmanly. The tough nature of her job forced her to forge another side, a new side, one rarely seen outside of the office. He didn't like this, didn't like that she had to be fake or quit. But she was tough. She wouldn't have made it so far already if she hadn't been truly tough, if she'd been completely faking it.

He sighed and she stirred, mumbling tiredly, "Jack."

His heart swelled with love and pride for this woman and the unborn child growing within her womb.


End file.
